dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
