I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
