they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sext me about skeletons
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
