Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
