it wasn't lemon gatorade
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
