I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
