fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
