Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
