I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
