I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
