Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
