did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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