all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
