can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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