hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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