very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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