I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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