'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
