My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
