Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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