U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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