well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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