You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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