I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
