And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
