you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
