i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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