i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
