As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
