My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
