no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
