I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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