Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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