Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
