even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
