got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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