Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
