Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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