PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
