Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
