Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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