I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
