Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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