I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
