So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
