Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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