please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
