Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
