I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
