it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
