nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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